Let’s dance to the vibes of pollution

We all know that pollution means to pollute. It is of many types – land pollution, air pollution, water pollution, physical pollution, virtual pollution, mental pollution, dental pollution, geographical pollution, historical pollution, Indian pollution, NRI pollution, yummy pollution, yucky pollution, simple pollution, compound pollution, Coke pollution, Pepsi pollution, colour pollution, B&W pollution, real pollution, believing-everything-I-say pollution….

I was educated about the after-effects of pollution by my teachers when I was small. As I didn’t have a thinking mind at that time, I blindly followed whatever I heard. I made sure not to throw anything on the road , never throw anything inside a river, was against vehicles emitting a lot of smoke, etc..

When I went to college, very few people talked to me about the side effects of pollution, as they enjoyed deglamourizing the Mother Nature as if it was a token of appreciation to all that it had given us.

Indeed there were some who kept talking about why we should stop, citing the consequences that could happen. Their thoughts did revolve my head.

After a lot of thoughtful thinking, I realized that the more we pollute the better our standard of living will be.

Here are a few consequences of what can happen in future and how our lives will be improved only for the better.

1. Fitter generation.

Our ancestors used to be physically fit as wherever they used to go they used to go on foot. This way they did a lot of physical exercise. Our parents did a lot of cycling as well.

Ironically the people of my generation are lazy; they can’t walk, wherever they go they go on car / scooter. Because of this the physiques of some of my friends appears as if they are planning to go to Japan to participate in the Annual Sumo Wrestlers Convention.

Going by the way the petroleum consumption is increasing, soon none of it will be left. Because of which we all will have to come down on the road, i.e. we will have to walk to the office or use bicycles. This will result in increased physical activities, hence fitter physiques.

2. Surgeons will be richer

Before performing an operation, a Surgeon has to give Anesthesia to his/her patient. This is so that the patient won’t irk the doctor during the operation process, and the patient won’t know the identity of the doctor in case a group of Surgeons were operating and something went wrong.

A penny saved is penny earned. A cent saved is cent earned. A paisa saved is paisa earned. An Anesthesia saved is money earned (you don’t earn Anesthesia, after all). In order to make the patient go in another world for a while, the doctors won’t need to buy Anesthesia. Due to increasing global waste all over, the dumping places will become full and hence people will dump wherever they find place; be it outside their house, their neighborhood, class room desks, etc. because of which garbage will be easy to find.

We all know how garbage smells like; we can faint if we smell it continuously. Already we have seen how people throw garbage on the streets, and from what it seems, in future garbage will be everywhere. The Surgeons will take some of the garbage outside their hospital/home, make the patient smell it, and viola, their work will be done free of cost!

It will be convenient for me as well; I won’t have to give my socks to my medico friends.

3. Increase in the heights of school children

The sizes of schoolbags of children seem to be increasing exponentially with the passage of time. Often we have seen our neighbour’s ever-smiling tender-looking young gun carrying a bag on his/her shoulders twice his/her weight. The weight of the bag sends forces in the downward direction which repel the upward forces sent by the child responsible for the growth of his/her height.

The effect is that the child gains height horizontally instead of vertically.

But now, as trees are being cut all over, soon there won’t be any trees left for making paper. Because of that, there won’t be any books. The lolly-polly children won’t have to carry any bags; hence their height will be more.

4. Lesser complaints by Himalayan Students

When a girl, who has spent all her life in places like Kashmir, Himachal Pradesh, Uttrakhand, etc., goes for study in another part of the country, the first thing that she complaints about is that “It is so HOT, back in my _____(insert location here) it used to be so cold! This place is so, ugh!”

Boys don’t complain, because wherever they go they aren’t bothered by petty things like weather. For them the only thing that matters is how the girls of that place are.

Anyway, that complaint will soon become a thing of the past. Because, with global warming, all the ice-caps of the Himalayas will melt, and no longer will there be such extreme coldness. The weather will remain the same throughout, thus ensuring regularity and consistency in terms of hotness.

5. Justice will prevail as terrorism will be reduced

The LTTE will not be there. The global warming will lead to melting of the glaciers, resulting in increase of water and hence the entire LTTE group will be drowned.

Same with the militants hiding in the valleys of Kashmir, as the peaks will melt and all their bases will be exposed.

Of course, the common human will suffer, but then, always the common ones have suffered. It is only the uncommon ones who don’t have to bear the brunt of agony. With the passage of time everyone will suffer equally, and justice will prevail.

Reading the above points, you must have been convinced that the standard of living for the next generation will be better, if we continue doing what we are doing. This is a nice and apt way of returning all that the Mother Nature has given us, isn't it?