If you wish to know the answer, kindly answer the following question.
Q. When an individual sets out from home for work/studies and lives alone in that area, away from his/her native place (a common term in South India), what is it that s/he loses the most?
a. Conscience / Moral Character
b. Hair on head
c. Bank Balance
d. Weight
Quite a few people end up losing all four of them. So let me reframe the above question.
Q. When people set out from home, for professional or academic purpose, what is it that most of them lose?
If you don’t have the answer up your sleeve, you might be hurling abuses right now, directed at me over what question I asked.
Keep in mind that some rhetorical questions aren't meant to be answered. In this case, as I have to proceed with my blog entry, there has to be an answer. Instead of giving the answer straightaway, am offering the explanation for each option, along with the reason for its acceptance / rejection.
a. Conscience / Moral Character - The answer is correct for quite a few people. When in college, I observed that the girls who used to get carried away the most by glamour and experimented all sort of various things were the ones from Bihar (no racist stuff intended, just an observation), reason being that they used to hail from a conservative background and didn't have access to such glitters at home, which lead them to maintain a totally different plain jane image at home in front of their parents and a vastly radical one in the presence of their friends.
But there were quite a few people, who remained just the same. Hence this answer isn't correct for the maximum number of people.
"Circumstances do not make the man, they reveal him." - Allen, James
b. Hair on head - Oh god, dear lord. People who spend a significant part of their life living in a single place get accustomed to the type of water present in that area, because of which when they start living elsewhere their hair aren't able to handle the new change in their life. Resulting in hair fall for most people, change of colour for some. Now you know why they advertise so much for Hair Fall Solutions and Hair Colour on TV?
"If you do not change, you can become extinct." - Dr. Spencer Johnson (Who Moved My Cheese?)
While this is true for a lot of people, isn’t so for the most of them (there are some lucky ones). Which takes us to the next point.
(Just wondering, people lose the hair on their head, why not on the other parts of their body?)
c. Bank Balance - Residing away can be a costly affair, especially if you are alone. Extra accommodation cost for not living in your own home, dolling out surplus amount of money on food not cooked by mother/spouse, paying someone else to wash your clothes, purchasing grocery items you wouldn't have required otherwise; there are quite a few cases in which it would have been cheaper to stay at home rather than out of town. This is true for students and most working professionals.
A guy might earn Rs. 10,000 in his native place and Rs. 20,000 in a place more than a thousand kilometers away. However in the former case s/he may not have to pay for housing expenses, home made food, travel to and fro when on vacations, etc. because of which s/he may end up earning more due to extra savings.
Of course, there are exceptions, because of this option fails as well. They are
i) The guy is sent to some Western country on an assignment and his/her company takes care of accommodation, meals, and miscellaneous expenses. Though the number of such cases have reduced recently due to recession, but it is expected that they'd increase again. (Oh dear lord, please, I also wish to receive this opportunity !! )
ii) The guy gets employment opportunity in such a place that he makes it his new home and gets settled over there with his family.
Crossing out this option, off to the one that is the answer.
d. Weight - Oh YEAH, this is the Undisputed Champ! You know, everyone whom I met so far, lost weight after staying at a place away from home. Everyone, without one exception, whose name I will disclose after penning few verses.
Ok, I would come to point straightaway, the guy who gained weight immensely was me. In mid of February 2008, I weighed 59 kilos, and then I started working in Panchkula (Haryana, India) for my academic project. By the time it ended in May, I was around 65. When I joined my organization in end June, I might have been around 66.
8th August, 2010. My weight is now 82 when I last checked, could be 83 by the time you read this.
All my friends, having work/study experience in places varying from Chandigarh to Chennai, Kolkata to Korea, Mumbai to Mangalore, Switzerland to Spain, Bangalore to Britain - each and everyone of them, without fail, lost weight. When I narrate my statistics of not sliding down the scale, they get amused as well as awe-struck, as to what Wizard of Oz did I deploy. There are a lot of people making money by telling how to lose weight, in the form of books, journals, TV programmes, food stuff, etc. and they claim its an evergreen market.
However, it seems that I may have to start some sort of a new trend, so here goes. Direct from the horse' mouth (whatever the phrase is). For the first time ever, I am sharing my utter precious secrets of how I gained weight. If you follow them, then I assure you an upward rise in your body mass. If this doesn't happen within one month I would return you your money back.
Oh wait, I didn't charge you any money. So no money back. Read at your own risk. :P
Here we go!
1. Don't waste foodAm enclosing proceeding sentences in square brackets. Would explain the purpose later.
(square brackets start) [
Look at this child.
 |
| (Photograph courtsey Arjun Suri Photography) |
a. Do you feel he gets to eat three decent meals everyday?
b. Do you feel he eats less because of his own will?
c. If offered something to eat, do you feel he'd create fuss over it?
d. Do you feel that once he gets something to eat, he won't consume the entire quantity?
If you answered all of them as 'No', then ponder over this - A lot of people in this world don't get proper meals do eat. While some can't afford to purchase food (the poor ones), some of them just don't get any kind of food (like the ones in most parts of Africa). If we offer them something to eat, they'll eat it readily. Bitter Gorud, boiled vegetables, raw cabbage, jackfruit - anything you give them, they'll consume it. They don't throw away what they get, as they cherish its worth, and are aware of the struggles they had to undergo in order to have it.
Now I will ask one more question.
e. Do you feel this child is among the most educated ones on the planet?
If your answer is 'No', then think about the people around you. Students pursuing professional courses, well qualified Science graduates, head honchos of various organizations, people who serve in religious institutions - they do waste food, don't they?
Bigger issue isn't that people aren't getting food to eat, but that the ones who are getting it aren't respecting its worth. The food that we waste in restaurants, canteens, religious institutions, etc. goes straight to the dustbin and not in the stomach of someone who needs it. When two people are getting 200 grams of grains, one is getting 25 and the other is getting 175. The former consumes entire 25 grams and the other throws away 50 grams instead of giving it to the one who could have relished it.
Especially in buffets, don't assume you are getting your money's worth by taking each and everything that is up for grabs. I have seen people in IT industry who take Salad everyday as a part of lunch included with the meal and waste it as well. I wonder, why do they take it then? Also, when you know that a specific vendor is quite weak at making a particular dish, you need not take it. If some amount of food gets left, you can pack it, come outside the building, and either give it to poor people, security guard of your building, or relish it yourself the next day.
In religious institutions like Gurudwaras and Arya Samaj, langar is perceived as free food by a lot of people. I have seen people throwing plate full of assorted items, which lands up in no one's stomach ultimately.
A guy heading a prominent hospital in Bangalore once told me that 27% of all food served in the restaurants of USA is wasted. While I won't comment on the validity of the statement, but the number is quite alarming for countries that are considered to be "developed".
So when you gorge on something, think before leaving it for the wrecks.
] (square brackets end)
The words enclosed in square brackets were preachy. But, they should be permanently scribbled on the walls of your heart, so that they become a part of your daily schedule. Be it night or day, be it in the class room or office, be it in front of your Microsoft Kinect (don't ask me what it is, search on Google) or Cricket pitch, be it lunch time or dinner time; the verses highlighted in square brackets should be running in the annals of your gray cells. So that everytime you feel like sparing that little bit of lettuce or mashed brinjals, images of impoverished children deprived of food should be displayed in the LCD of your brain continually.
Once you start doing that, there would be no looking back. This contributed as the major factor for me gaining weight. People say Vegetarians find it difficult outside India, but once you get used to eating just about any edible thing without blood and yolk, you won't face much issues. Also fall in love with all kinds of food, keep looking at photos of delicacies on the internet and never refrain from looking at menu cards of the restaurants that do home delivery. Following this point alone would help you achieve most of the desired purpose.
2. I scream, Ice Cream
The heading might be clichéd, but this is what you should do when you spot an Ice Cream - scream with joy!
If you wish to know why, just answer a simple question. What is it that differentiates an Ice Cream from Potato Chips, Lachcha Parantha, Yellow Lentil, Fried Rice, Cheese Nachos, Grilled Vegetarian Sizzler, Ragda Pattice, Penne Primavera, Double Cheese Pizza, Paneer Tikka, and Espresso Coffee?
(Am drooling right now, need to control myself ....)
The USP is - Ice Cream is sweet in taste. I don't know what you were thinking, but think about it, if Ice Cream was sour, would it have gained as much worldwide acceptance as it currently has?
The point I am going to discuss here not only applies to Ice Cream, but for all things having a sweet taste - Chocolates, Indian sweets, Bakery products like Cakes and pastries, Candies, Syrups, Colas, etc. over which you should scream when you see them. Why? Because they are full of calories, fats, and carbohydrates. They contain less protein and the inhaled stuff occupies a permanent stuff in your belly (or so it seems).
Need another reason? Observe the common pattern among these.
i. The lady sitting at Guru Nanak Sweet Shop, Kalyani Nagar, Pune; recognizes me by my face.
ii. The gentleman in-charge of the Natural Ice Cream parlour in Koregaon Park, Pune; shares positive vibes with me.
iii. The gentleman heading Kremes 'n' Krustes, Kalyani Nagar, Pune; smiles at me when I enter his shop.
iv. The lady behind Ferrante, Koregaon Park, Pune; treats me affectionately whenever I go there.
You might have observed the geniality in all of them. The reason is simple - I frequent these shops regularly. Similar case should be with you also - just think about the satisfaction that you get after receiving celebrity kind of reception. The impeccable feeling after trying all their Vegetarian items. Inner persona magnified for having tasted so many delicacies that your friends suggesting you to become a Food Guide in order to earn few extra bucks during recession. Absolutely divine!
3. Future of fast food
The man with the biggest cult following among Indian Intellectuals of all age groups right now, Baba Ramdev, once discussed French Fries on his TV show. He said that when potatoes are put in burning oil, they get exposed to sudden high temperature, thus destroying the essential nutrients. What remains is fat, which gets accumulated in our body when we eat the end product.
He cited this to be true for everything deep fried; like Samosas, Kachoris, Jalebis, Chips, etc.
[
Do you know, if you eat fried stuff from a road side vendor, chances of falling sick are less. This is because when an item is deep fried, it kills any harmful germs that may be present inside. This doesn't happen with baked stuff. Also, anything that is deep fried always tastes better than a baked one.
](square brackets, get used to them now)
Repeat the above passage repeatedly till you become a devout follower of fried food. In USA, there is a drive to reduce the amount of fast food absorbed by their residents, especially children, and in quite a few schools fast food has been banned. Eating fruits and vegetables has become the in-thing over there, thus affecting business of fast food joints like McDonalds. In order to prevent themselves from going bankrupt, firms are setting up branches in India. General public perception towards them is ‘Oh, this is superhit American chain, having opened branch in our country, the stuff being offered by them has to be truly divine, so lets eat there, after which we’d join their fan page on facebook to show everyone on our list that we know about them.‘ Whatever be their definition of 'divine', we won’t debate on its credibility. In your case it is definitely divine for it infers being easier for you to gain oodles of pounds.
Some people, when eating Pooris and Bhatooras, wipe out extra oil with the help of a tissue paper. In your case you should AVOID that.
4. Become a couch potato
Here is a 6 step guide for you.
i. Stay in bed as much as possible. Sleep early, wake up late. Have your meals in bed, ask someone to deliver them for you.
ii. Outdoor walks should be restricted to roaming around the streets on Google Street View and Discovery Travel and Living.
iii. Become addicted to TV, Internet, books; anything but physical activity, especially hitting hard in the gym.
iv. Any social interaction with people outside your home should be done via phone or the internet, until unless they come to meet you.
v. Take up a sedentary job that requires long sitting hours. If possible have meals on your desk instead of walking to the cafeteria.
vi. Join the 'couch potato' community on social networking sites such as facebook and be proud over calling yourself one.
5. Brown or White
I am not talking about the pre-Indian Independence era where White people were discriminated over the so-called Brown ones (unfortunately colour based discrimination still exists in various parts of the world). I am referring to the two categories of breads most Indians are familiar with - White Bread and Brown Bread.
White Bread is essentially made up of Refined Wheat Flour. Brown Bread contains mostly Wheat and little Refined Wheat Flour so as to induce elasticity (this is the reason why Butter Naan becomes harder to break when it gets cold, compared to Butter Roti). While Refined Wheat Flour is among the tastiest grains on the planet, it doesn't get digested easily. Its undigested molecules continue residing in various parts of the Human Digestive System. Now you know why most Americans are so obese? This is their secret, most of the things that they eat is made up of Refined Wheat Flour.
Everytime I eat Pizza and drink a bottle of Soft drink along with it, I gain 1 kilogram. In India its difficult to find items prepared in Brown Bread. And quite a few vendors of Brown Bread dip White Bread in Caramel, which helps more in gaining weight (a good Wheat Bread leaves a lot of crumbs, the Refined Wheat Flour one sticks to its homogenous particles, and hence doesn't separate easily). So whenever you spot something white in colour, you know what you have to do - feast on it as if you haven‘t had meals in ages! (akin to how most people eat in marriages)
6. Taking walks
If you are wondering how am I saying such a contradictory thing, which helps in losing weight rather than gaining, here is the catch. You have to carefully define the areas where you stroll, and how.
There was a time when I used to return home from office by riding pillion off my friend‘s motorcycle. He used to drop me at a place from which my home was 20 minutes on foot. On the way there used to be Ice Cream parlours, sweet shops, bakeries, fast food joints, etc. (now you know how I developed most of the acquaintances as listed in point 2?) On a warm day, it was natural for me to stop at one of these shops in order to refresh myself. The 25-40 calories that I used to lose by walking and sweating, were made up by consuming 250-400 calories.
More so, there used to be days where I felt like treating myself due to being elated over some reason, hence even on non-summer days I used to enjoy munching.
7. Punjabi genes
With due respect, no purposeful offense, when I went outside Punjab, for the first time I saw ladies who were slim. I had seen a couple of thin gentlemen in Punjab, but they happened to be rare exceptions But its a given, if you are a Punjabi you are bound to gain weight with the passage of time. Facial features aside, the physical ones are unique as well, in a rather expanded manner.
For those who want proof, either come down to Punjab, or take a look at photographs of famous Punjabi celebrities.
So, if you are a Punjabi, when it comes to gaining weight, there is one natural thing you don’t have to bother upon.
8. Perception of fat people
Many years ago, I used to hate those who were fat. I perceived them as lazy good-for-nothing bums, classifying them as black and the slim ones as white. I was convinced that the good people weren't overweight. These collected notions were responsible for me maintaining a figure that would have given complex to several leading models trying to achieve a Size Zero figure. Yes, this is how thin I was at one point of time.
Around the age of 16, I realized, that I wasn't right in my perception. Looking at the people around me, I observed that the ones who were fond of eating were mostly kind hearted, and one would often spot them with a cheerful smile on their face. The slim ones, on the other hand, used to remain off-coloured, the reason for which was attributed to not eating enough food, resulting in one not having a particularly great time in their company especially when in a mood for jovialness. Some of my bulging cousins in Amritsar contributed to my newly developed faith as well.
As a result, from what used to be around 52, became 67 in less than two years, and then I joined college.
Though my weight remained more or less same by the time I graduated, its graph started following an upward trend soon thereafter. It was also attributed to some more people, having few extra pounds, that I had met in the recent years. Among all stand up comedians that I see on TV, the one who has mesmerized me the most (that is, no one made me laugh as much as her, don‘t mix appreciation with infatuation) is Bharti Singh, and her physical figure does make me chuckle when she dances or laughs at herself.
[
Think about the fat people around you, aren't most of them more jovial compared to the slim ones? Look at eminent TV / Stage personalities, don't they tickle your funny bone more as compared to others? The effervescent smile of the chubby ones in your class, can you ever forget them? Did you ever see a wafer-thin lad cracking a joke on his physique or laughing at himself?
] (last square bracket of the article, go and thank god if you want)
Keep repeating the above, so much that when someone wakes you up from sleep at 4'o clock in the morning these words should come out from your mouth, despite you being in a dizzy state. This'd prove how serious and dedicated you are towards gaining weight.
Conclusion
I hope that the above points are of use to you, in increasing your belly size. Eat food, bring variations, do whatever that makes you happy. Just, ensure that you do not cross the limit. The number of cases pertaining to Diabetes, obesity, blood pressure, hypertension, etc. are increasing in the world. And as you read this, I have started losing weight. My mantras are simple - I'd be doing the reverse of the points that I mentioned above (except the genes one, as I have no control over it; and the wastage one, as I am against throwing edible food). I conclude by enlisting a quotation.
"These days, more people are dying because of eating more food, rather than the lack of it" - Dr. Rishi Kumar Arya.
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