P W K

Priya bachpan mein ek bahut hi seedhi-saadhi U.P. ke gaon ki chori thi. Use Duniyadaari ka D tak nahi pata tha aur itni zyaadi bholi hoti thi ki gaon waalo ko chinta hoti thi ki bade hokar uska kya hoga.

Priya kaha karti thi "Duniya ke saare ladke humre bhai hain, sirif aur sirif ek ko chodh kar, woh hain humre bauji".

Jab Priya badi hui, woh padhaai karne ke liye Amity College, Noida gayi. Wahaan jaakar use pankh lag gaye aur usne udhna shuru kar diya. Aur woh bhi itna zyaada, ki usne kehna shuru kar diya

"Meiiinnn naaaaa, saaaadi karuuungi naaaa, to sirif saaaaru khaan se karoongi...... mein naaa, saaaadi karuuungi naaaaa, to sirif reeeetik rosan se karuuuungi....... mein naaaa, saaaadi karuuuungi naaaa, to sirif ameeeer khaaan se karuuungi......."

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Lekin jodiyaan to rab banaata hai. Yaju, jiski harkatein poore Punjab, Haryana, Himachal Pradesh aur Delhi mein charchit thi, se un jagahon par ek bhi ladki nahi pati. Woh itna zyaada desperate ho gaya ki ek rangeeli shaam ko Noida aaya, Atta Market mein. Wahaan usne Priya ko paani-puri khaata hue dekha. Dekhkar Yaju ko kuch kuch hone laga. Kyunki Noida mein bahut garmi thi, paseena uske kapdo ke andar beh raha tha, use khujli ho rahi thi aur woh kar bhi nahi paa raha tha.

Yaju mein SRK ka Casanova-pan nahi tha, na usme Hrithik ka style tha, na Aamir ki personality; lekin uske paas dimaag tha. Usne apne mobile mein "Tujhe Dekha To Yeh Jaana Sanam" bajaana chalu kiya aur lip-synch karne laga. Priya ko laga ki itna achcha gaana Yaju gaa raha hai. Phir kya tha, khuda meharban to gadha pehelwan, do made-for-each-other desperate logon ka chat mangani pat vivah ho gaya.



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Vivah paschaath, ek din Priya ki poorani saheli Isha usse milne uske ghar gayi. Usne dekha ki ghar ka darwaaza nahi tha, aur saath mein likh raha tha "Darwaaza repair ke liye gaya hua hai, kyunki usme khatkhataane par awaaz nahi aati". Usne door bell bajaayi to awaaz nahi aayi, uske saath mein likh rakha tha "Save electricity".

Isha andar gayi, to kya dekhti hai, ki Yaju pet ke bal bistar par leta hua hai, aur Priya oil se uski peeth ki maalish kar rahi hai, yeh kehte hue

"Yahiiii mere saaaaaru khaaan hain..... yahiiii mere reeeetik rosan hain..... yahiiii mere ameeeeeer khaaan hain.........."

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Vivah paschaath, ek din Yaju ka ghanisht mitra Abhishek usse milne uske ghar gaya. Veh andar gaya to use Chameli ke tel ki badbu aayi. Usne apni naak band ki aur bedroom ki taraf badha. Andar koi nahi tha, aur bistar par ek kagaz ka tukda padha tha, jis par likha hua tha


"Meri mannaton ki maala, fiza-e-jannat ka ehsaas
Aakhon ki barkat, noor-e-ulfat ka nivaas
Khwabon ki parchaai, jasbon ki kranti
Woh tum thi Priya, haan tum thi"

Sitting on the seashore...

You can't expect the waves to come at you every time, you have to take the initiative of going near the sea in order to make things happen.

If you are wondering why I am saying this (yes you are wondering), I am referring to a close friend of mine who likes a girl and is planning to propose her soon.

When my friend revealed the fact that he was in love, I was shocked as well as elated.

Shocked because in school/college he was extremely shy, used to stay away from romantic stuff, never looked at a girl from that angle, and hitherto indulged in a GD on girls.
Elated because I became assured that my friend was normal, i.e. a guy who was interested in girls.

My friend has planned a date for when he will be telling his feelings to the girl, and obviously a million things would be running in his mind right now. He isn't exactly sure of what to do then, and has decided that he will tell her whatever will come to his mind at that time.

Poor chap. He has to realize that this is the 21st century, in order to cook aloo-gobhi you have to put the right blend of spices, the right amount of oil, the perfect mix of condiments, all at the right time.

Here is a list of few things that my friend can do in the wake of the most important thing happening in his life right now. Each list item consists of Action, Time Interval, and the Reason for doing it.

An action can be executed among the following Time Intervals
~|pre|~ :: Before proposal.
~|post - oh yeah :) |~ :: After proposal, if it gets accepted
~|post - oh no :( |~ :: After proposal, if it gets rejected (naturally, my friend is afraid of that)
~|bongo|- :: During proposal, this is what his state of mind will be at that moment

All set? Here we go!

Action - Sing an old song
Time Interval - ~|bongo|~
Reason - You must have heard your elders saying that the quality of music today is nothing compared to what it used to be in their times (you will also say the same after 40 years). Our generation might be enjoying the newer stuff more than the older one but won't deny that the songs of yore had a class of their own. The fact that they sound evergreen even now is a testimony to that.

On the day of their meet, my friend should sing some fantastic songs for the girl like "Aaja aaja main hoon Pyaar tera", "Chaahe koi mujhe junglee kahe", "O haseena zulfonwali", "Tarif karun kya uski", etc..

The purpose isn't to melt her heart, but to entertain her. My friend "sings" very well, and if he "dances" along with it, it will be an icing on the cake.

Action - Make use of what girls like
Time Interval - ~|pre|~ , ~|bongo|~
Reason - There are things that girls like but boys don't and vice-versa. That's the reason why couples fight, and address these as incompatibility issues. I advise my friend to remain informed about the things that girls admire and make full use of those facts.

On D-Day, he should put on a lip gloss, wear a maskara, get his hair straightened, donne a trendy skirt with matching heels, and after a while should whisper in her ear "John was looking so HOT in Dostana".

Action - Show her a Photo shoot Calender / Models Magazine
Time Interval - ~|bongo|~
Reason - He should take the calender/magazine and show photos to her one-by-one, telling her "See this girl, she is so characterless to pose in such way, but you aren't one" "See her, she is a supermodel, very pretty, but not pretty as you" "See these 10 girls standing together, they are looking like a Nuclear bomb but right now you are looking like a Hydrogen bomb", etc.. This will ensure the girl that her qualities of good character, sense of dressing, way of talking, etc. etc. (you know how girls think about themselves) are being appreciated.

For getting photos, you have to buy/download them first. Note that I haven't added the category ~|pre|~ . That's because my friend downloads such photos and deletes them after a while. He may still be having some with him, so he won't have to download afresh. He is so honest that if you question him about it, he won't deny.

Action - Buy a 1 Rupee Wilkinson Blade
Time Intervals - ~|pre|~ , ~|bongo|~
Reason - He should take the blade, imbibe her name on his forearm, show it to her and say "Tattoos are out, blades are in, whaddya say girl, I'm your shin shin" (don't refer the dictionary, she will be so shocked seeing the blade marks that she won't notice a word of what he would saying).

Action - Go to the doctor
Time Intervals - ~|post - oh yeah :) |~ , ~|post - oh no :( |~
Reason - Irrespective of what she says, he will have to go to the doctor to put bandages on his blade marks.

Action - Buy a Himesh Reshammiya's 100 songs Signature Collection
Time Intervals - ~|post - oh yeah :) |~ , ~|post - oh no :( |~
Reason - If she accepts the proposal, then he will have loads of songs to listen to, so that he would think about her, feel her, giggle and get lost in another world.

If she rejects, then also he will have loads of songs to listen to, so that he would think about her, feel her, cry and get lost in another world.

Action - Receive good wishes from people
Time Interval - ~|pre|~
Reason - Its a known fact, that when you wish for someone from your heart, the thing actually happens.

So I request you to go to the comments section and give my friend your blessings/good wishes/words of encouragement. May god be with him and he get the love of his life. He has always been faithful towards her (ignore the Angelina Jolie's wallpapers that he used to set), and has done a lot of good deeds in life (at times he has bullied his sibling, but has acted as a really good mentor for him as well).

Our wishes are with you my friend, may god bless, all the best!