Happy Birthday Siddhant!

Allow me to present some facts before you.

Facts regarding Shah Rukh Khan (SRK) and Cristiano Ronaldo (CR)

• CR believes in taking risks of working with new people. Result of which was him achieving the milestone of being the fastest to become #1 scorer for Real Madrid.
  
  SRK believes in working with the same set of people over and over again. Result of that was Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi and Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna.

• CR knows how to replace legends. We all saw what happened to him first in Manchaster United and then Real Madrid, where he overshadowed the likes of David Beckham. Till date in Manchester United, no one has been able to replace CR, seems unlikely that his aura would be overshadowed in Real Madrid.
  
  In case of SRK, I need not tell what happened in Kaun Banega Crorepati Season 3 when he tried to "replace" Amitabh Bachchan.
  Not only that, SRK turned down Munnabhai MBBS, 3 Idiots, Enthiran, Lagaan, etc. for which marvelous humans like Aamir Khan and Rajinikanth replaced him, making them the biggest hits in history, as well as getting nominated for Oscars.

• Q. Why are Kal Ho Na Ho, Baazigar, Darr, DDLJ; considered SRK's best works?
  Ans. Because in all of them, he dies in the end. An exception to this is DDLJ, where he didn't die but got severely bashed up by the Youth of Punjab.

• Anyone who saw the recent Champions League T20 would tell that SRK needs Sports to promote his upcoming movies. But CR has never done that sort of thing with movies to promote his bread and butter.

• Q. What's the best way of watching a Real Madrid match?
  Ans. Watch YouTube vignette of duration for which CR was on the field.
  Q. What's the best way of watching a movie featuring SRK?
  Ans. Uska chehra morph kar do (Morph his face)! Mute volume and read the dialogues via subtitles.

• Q. Why did SRK cross the road?
  Ans. To dance at a wedding, in a bid to recover costs of making Ra.One .
  Q. Why did CR cross the road?
  Ans. To beat the hell out of SRK.

• Q. What's so good about the last 18 months?
  Ans. Not even a single movie released, featuring SRK as the leading actor.
  But alas, our happiness is short-lived, just a few days more.

• Q. What's the reality of CR?
  Ans. This.

• Q. What's the reality of SRK?
  Ans. This.

Now for some facts about Siddhant and Arjun.

• When Siddhant praises someone, it is a genuine one, he's aware of what he is saying and why he is doing that.
  When Arjun praises someone, it is for the following reasons.
  1. That guy shares a great rapport with SRK.
  2. At some level, that guy has a connection with SRK.
  3. That guy is SRK himself.

• Q. What was Arjun in his previous birth?
  Ans. An Astrologer.
  That's the reason why he predicts how a movie would be, even before watching it. These are his recent predictions.
  Dhoom 3 - 'Ghatiya, vaahiyaat, bakwaas... lekin Aamir Khan ki acting achchi hai'.
  Ra.One - 'Ultimate, best movie of all time! SRK ne to kammaal kar di'.
  Such is the case that doomsayers have already predicted Arjun's son to be named as SRS - Shah Rukh Suri.

• Q. Why does Siddhant remain more at peace, compared to Arjun?
  Ans. Because he doesn't have to face humiliation whenever Kolkata Knight Riders loses a match or SRK throws a legend like Saurav Ganguly out of the squad. All he has to do is celebrate every time CR wins awards like Footballer of the year.

• Q. What is the best thing about Siddhant?
  Ans. He is not a fan of SRK.
  Q. And what's even better?
  Ans. That he is not SRK.

• Q. Siddhant plays with a Cricket bat having the letters 'BAS' embedded on them. Why so?
  Ans. They stand for 'Billu Ashoka Shakti'.

• Q. What was CR doing when he turned 25?
  Ans. Basking in the glory of becoming the World's Highest Paid Footballer.
  Q. What was SRK doing when he turned 25?
  Ans. He hadn't even made his foray into Bollywood.
  Q. What would Arjun be doing when he turns 25?
  Ans. He'd be getting mentally roundhouse kicked, by his younger brother.
  Q. What would Siddhant be doing when he turns 25?
  Ans. No matter whatever his age, he'd always be giving a mental roundhouse kick to his elder brother.

• Q. What's the secret of Siddhant's excellent judgement ability?
  Ans. If SRK is associated with something, it is definitely not worth investing energy in.
  Q. And how does Arjun judge?
  Ans. Do I need to answer this question? By now you'd have already guessed that. *wink*

• Q. How do you define Arjun in less than 140 characters?
  Ans. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING about him is freaking awesome. Except for the fact that he is a huge fan of SRK.
  Q. How do you define Siddhant in less than 140 characters?
  Ans. A blessed soul, who deserves the best, may this be his best birthday ever. :-)

(Note- The above post is written without intention of hurting anyone. I have equal respect for everyone and nothing is meant to be taken seriously).

Jokes on Arjun Suri

Q. Why was Arjun so delighted after watching the movie Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi?

Ans. Because SRK had essayed the role of a BUDDHA!




Q. What according to Arjun are bad movies and good movies?

Ans. Bad movies are Singh Is Kinng (record highest opening ever) and Ghajini (biggest collections ever).
Good movies are Paheli, DON, Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna.


Q. Why won't Arjun like Chandni Chowk to China?

Ans. For three reasons.
1. SRK isn't related to Chandni Chowk.
2. SRK isn't related to China.
3. SRK isn't acting in the movie.




Q. According to Arjun, which is the best state of India?

Ans. West Bengal, because it is the home of Kolkata Knight Riders.



Q. Why does Arjun watch only Star Plus?

Ans. Because they don't showcase programs like Khatron Ke Khiladi, Bigg Boss, MTV Roadies, Sa Re Ga Ma Pa, Dus Ka Dum, etc. which have high TRP's. He watches Star Plus so that at least someone will watch KBC3 and Panchvi Pass.




Q. What is Arjun's perception of an ideal family?

Ans. An ideal family is one in which the Dad drives a Hyundai i10, the wife applies Himani Navratan Oil, the son wears Tag Huer wristwatch, the daughter operates a Compaq Presario Notebook, all of them wear Belmonte clothes on special occasions, celebrate the good times by drinking Pepsi, and for inspiration read Still Reading Khan by Mustaq Sheikh.



Q. Why is Arjun a huge fan of SRK?

Ans. God knows. Becuase he is not a fan of Akshay Kumar who made it being despite hailing from a middle-class family in Delhi, he is not a fan of Amitabh Bachchan who is an icon, he is not a fan of Aamir Khan whose movies have been nominated for Oscars, he is not a fan of A R Rahman who doesn't believe in fakism, he is not a fan of Ranvir Shorey who has done variety of roles, he is not a fan of [insert anyone's name here].



* For those who are wondering who he is, Arjun is the quintessential human who has gifted his friends a reason to smile, his parents a reason to believe in god, his relatives a reason to appreciate the innocence in mischief, his brother a reason to be pampered, his best buddy a reason to update his blog....

(Note- The above post is written without intention of hurting anyone. I have equal respect for everyone and nothing is meant to be taken seriously. Images courtesy various sources on the Internet).