There is a new Chanakya Neeti for tech startups. The way a mosquito sucks blood, you should extract personal information from your users by giving away your SaaS based solutions for free.
These were the thoughts in Prem’s head, as he sat outside the VC’s chamber in Powai, waiting for them to hear his proposal.
Prem was a bit nervous, but he wouldn’t bite his nails. His father Er. Ratan had graduated from the first batch of IIT Kharagpur, and vowed not to get married till he completed his Ph. D, due to which he didn’t marry till he turned 40. People like him might have inspired Jaspal Bhatti Sir’s Flop Show episode on Ph. D.
Coming back to Prem, he wouldn’t bite his nails because his father used to. Growing up Er. Ratan was not affluent, and chewing nails would be his closest contact with protein, albeit a dead one.
To ease his nerves, Prem started looking at the calendar on the receptionist’s desk. It had a baby’s photo that reminded him of his 4 months old nephew.
The moment his nephew was born, a group of transgenders came asking for ‘Dhan’ (Hindi for money). No wonder India is the land of Cash On Delivery.
There was a time when Prem had a full time job, fresh out of his engineering college, getting his first salary at 21. Prem had been earning money for years and his Medical friends were still doing their studies. Can’t blame them because unlike the Software field, most patients want to get themselves treated from a specialist with multiple degrees instead of a general practitioner with MBBS degree alone.
Prem didn’t expect his prospective VC to give him lots of money with which he’ll enjoy the life he couldn’t afford otherwise. Prem just wanted to learn so that he’ll use the experience to create a more beautiful software that would make lives easier for people.
In any case Prem was not a guy of humongous expectations. In his previous job, he never expected overtime from his employer, and would almost always leave late at night. He became so much habitual that he had begun feeling odd whenever he left for home on time, not knowing what to do as he saw the daylight on his way back.
Suddenly, the receptionist’s phone rang. She spoke for few seconds and asked Prem if he had his lunch. Prem hadn’t. The receptionist informed the person on the phone, and then told Prem “Please wait for 4 minutes, Aman will be here and then you’ll have your lunch with him”.
Exactly 4 minutes later, a punctual guy came out of the room. Extending his hand he said
“Hi, I am Aman”
“Hi, I’m Prem.”
“Together our name means Peaceful Love, so come have lunch with me”
“Ha ha… Thank you sir, but I think it is okay”
“Oye Have it!”
Prem started thinking.
Optimism: Check
Positive vibes: Check
Sense of humor: Check
What my sixth sense says: I don’t know
And thus they entered cafeteria. Aman asked Prem if he’d have a Parantha, to which he firmly said yes. They took their meals and sat on a corner seat, not far from a TV screen showing a loud, over the top Punjabi family doing Bhangra.
Watching TV, Aman sighed: "This is so not right - they keep on stereotyping Punjabis, all of us are not the same" - and then proceeded to put Butter on his Parantha.
“So how’s your life at Punjab?” asked Aman
“It’s fine. Before starting travel to Mumbai I attended a Langar hosted by my close family friend at a Gurudwara” replied Prem.
“Must have been delicious” added Aman.
“More than the food I was wondering that the Pareto Principle applies to Langars as well. A small group of people regularly host Langars for majority of the population” said Prem.
“Please don’t do such insightful data analysis now - just enjoy your meal!” instructed Aman.
Then they quietly finished their meals. A character on the cafeteria’s TV screen mouthed dialogue that two Punjabi people can sit together and be quiet only if there is delicious food involved.
After finishing their meal Aman and Prem got up from their seats and in unison complimented the vendor for a well prepared meal.
Aman: “Would you have something for dessert?”
Prem: “Turmeric Latte”
Aman: “What’s that?”
Prem: “The good ol’ classic Haldi Wala Doodh, it’s now branded with this name in the states and is becoming a rage. Their marketing teams are bombarding the health benefits and the guys selling it are earning decent profit margins”
Aman: “Had you met me before, we’d have launched a nationwide chain of mother’s recipes with fancy Western names. We’d have done really attractive packaging and branded them as something genuinely good for health”
Prem: “Hashtag growth Hashtag healthy Hashtag profits”
Aman: “Interestingly so many ventures are making profits these days due to hashtags, but not the ones who invented hashtags”
Prem: “Maybe they idolized Albert Einstein far more than Steve Jobs and didn’t patent hashtags”
Aman: “So what’s your new venture about?”
Prem: “It’s called PAYO - a new way to pay online without requiring a password because many people in rural areas don’t understand the existing concepts of online payments”
Aman: “Interesting - tell me more”
Prem: “Before I share details of my venture, I wish to say something”
Aman: “Please go ahead”
Prem: “Commuting to your office in a cab, we stopped at traffic lights. My cab just missed crossing as the signal turned red, but I was not worried about waiting. I started observing the things around me. The trees were of different varieties, and few even had flowers on them. I saw a sixty something man on a Vespa with a laptop bag, working hard at this age. I saw a group of cyclists sweating out in the sun who seemed to be ones who could have afforded a car as well. I saw a guy selling copies of The Power Of Now. I saw a car which was the same model as my father’s first car. I saw so many things that were unexpected and I’m happy. I live for the moment. I have food in stomach, good health, and people who keep making me learn new things. And, I’m happy, come whatever may.”
